50 Arguments Over 50 Shades of Grey

I saw 50 Shades of Grey.658_3346743

Take a moment to collect yourselves if this comes as a shock to your system or, if you must, X right out of this article before it’s too late. Because I wasn’t horrified. Apparently, to the tune of an 80 million dollar grand opening, there were plenty of people who weren’t either.

For the past two weeks, I have watched as Christians told me not to see it or I wasn’t a good Christian and feminists told me not to see it or I wouldn’t be a good feminists and, believe it or not, I woke up the exact same person today as I was yesterday. There was no abuse in the movie. Quite the contrary, you really see her struggle with understanding the path between what she wants and what he wants. And she fights for herself. And stands up for herself. I can’t defend the level of sex in the movie, but let ye who never read a Danielle Steele book cast the first stone.

What bewilders me is the rhetoric. And the time spent trying to convince one another that, once again, our choices are wrong. I have heard people claim that she was raped. And abused. And maybe I just have no idea what I am reading or watching, but I didn’t pick up on either. Yes, I understand how people feel that way, especially those who see the movie as literal. Maybe I just forgive too much of it. I have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when it comes to where they draw the line at things. I am not one to voluntarily be punished, but just because it’s not for me doesn’t mean that I have to classify it.

Frankly, the most abusive thing about the book for me was how poorly it was written. And I had extremely low expectations for the film. And I was very pleasantly surprised. It was actually quite funny in many places. And it is very…intense. But I knew it would be and the shock wasn’t about that. Bottom line for me was that it was fun and sexy and FICTION. Just like Se7en and Pulp Fiction and Silence of the Lambs and Pretty Woman and we all saw those and managed to deal with reality after. And I am not prodding you to see it. See what you want. But maybe the rhetoric on the whole thing should be meant for those who actually read the book and saw the movie. Otherwise, it’s not a good debate.

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Kelly Yale

Kelly Yale

Kelly Yale has written for many parenting websites and wrote a weekly column for Charlotte Parent called “Diva Mom” for many years. Kelly created Modern Parent in social media several years ago and is excited to relaunch a new Modern Parent website. When she isn’t working as the Marketing Director for a mortgage company, she plays wife to Matt and mom to Ryan & Josh in Charlotte, North Carolina.